Should I Pursue My Classmate

I’m an M1 and I like one of my classmates in my lab group. Do you think it’s a bad idea to pursue him? We’ve been flirty, and I think the feelings are mutual.

Here’s the thing: my dad, who’s also a doctor, always warned me:  never fall in love with a doctor. His reasoning? Doctors are selfish. 

Not in a malicious way, but in the very real, logistical way that we simply don’t have the time or energy to give 50/50 in a relationship. (No shade here. He and I are both doctors, so we know this firsthand.)

Now obviously, this goes against the whole “be a doctor, marry a doctor” Arab storyline that a lot of us grew up hearing. But I’ve always appreciated that my parents let me figure out love on my own, which led to a few... forgettable detours. Trial and error, baby!

My dad wasn’t wrong. Medicine is all-consuming. We don’t control our schedules. We’re constantly chasing exams. We go wherever we match, not necessarily where we want. And if both people are doing this at the same time? That’s a recipe that can work, but it requires extra intention, patience, and grace.

Now for some transparency: I’ve been in a healthy, loving relationship since before I even applied to med school, so this isn’t something I’ve experienced personally. But I can tell you this, my partner has shown up for me in ways I didn’t even know I needed. When I was drowning in studying, he picked up the slack without being asked! From cooking dinners, cleaning the apartment, to planning little trips to help me decompress. He gave 70 when I could barely give 30. And when I matched, he moved across the country with me. No hesitation, just love. That kind of support doesn’t distract you from your dreams. It protects them. It celebrates them.

You’ve worked so hard to get here. You didn’t survive undergrad, the MCAT, and the chaos of first year just to get emotionally derailed by a man who might end up being a footnote. If there’s even a chance that he could throw off your focus, your peace, or your path, he’s not worth it. It would be a shame to lose sight of your dream over someone who ends up being a “forgettable detour.” Not every crush is meant to be a main character.

But I’ve watched it happen all around me. And honestly? Sometimes med school feels like middle school. The drama, the hormones, the sweaty anatomy labs…it’s a lot. So, you have to ask yourself: Is it love, or are you just trauma-bonding over cadavers?

So, if you genuinely feel like this guy could be it? Go for it. I’m a romantic at heart, and I’m rooting for your Grey’s Anatomy arc. Just make sure you’re not sacrificing your success or your sanity in the process.