Why Does It Feel So Hard to Celebrate Myself?

I’ve always found it easier to move on than to celebrate. The moment something good happens: a test score, a publication, an acceptance, or a match, I immediately shift into “what’s next?” mode. It’s almost reflexive. I think that’s the med student mentality: always pushing, always chasing, never pausing.

When I got my first med school acceptance, I cried for maybe 20 seconds before I started thinking about housing, finances, and logistics. When I matched into dermatology (a dream that once felt impossible) I barely let myself process it before planning my move. It’s like my brain was wired to skip joy and head straight to the next task.

That mindset runs deep in medicine. We’re trained to be humble, to minimize ourselves, to never let success “go to our heads.” Somewhere along the way, we’ve confused humility with silence. As if being proud of ourselves somehow makes us less deserving.

But here’s the truth: you can be humble and still proud. You can be grounded and still celebrate yourself. You can take up space in your own story.

When I look back, the moments I treasure most aren’t the achievements themselves, but how they felt. My dad hugging me after I passed my boards. My mom crying when I told her I matched. My boyfriend cheering  louder than anyone else. Those memories remind me why it’s worth pausing to feel proud. Not just for what I did, but for who I became along the way.

The world won’t always slow down to clap for you. Sometimes you have to do it for yourself.

So celebrate the big things and the small ones, too. Finishing a hard week. Getting through a tough rotation. Taking care of yourself when it would’ve been easier not to. These are victories, too.

You can be ambitious without being ungrateful. You can love where you’re going while still being proud of where you are.

Because one day, you’ll look back and realize that the moments you were too busy to celebrate were the ones you should’ve felt most proud of.

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