How Do You Stay Confident When Everyone Around You Intimidates You?

The first thing I ever learned in medical training wasn’t anatomy. It wasn’t how to write a note or how to scrub in. It was how to sit in a lecture hall and silently panic about how smart everyone else seemed.

I wish someone had told me in those early days that confidence isn’t something you unlock once you finally “deserve” it. It’s a skill you practice, especially when you feel small.

In every phase of training, I’ve been surrounded by people who amazed me. People who spoke up effortlessly on rounds. People who collected research like it was nothing. People who seemed so sure of themselves. For a long time I mistook their confidence for proof that I didn’t belong.

Then one day, I caught myself doing something interesting. After answering a question correctly in front of a whole team, instead of celebrating, I almost apologized. I made myself smaller. I brushed it off like it was luck. I realized I was so afraid of being seen as “not enough” that I wouldn’t even let myself be seen at all.

So I made a rule: I am not allowed to shrink to make others more comfortable.

Confidence isn’t a personality trait. It is choosing to show up as yourself, even when your voice shakes. It is trusting your ability to grow, not pretending you already know everything. It is participating instead of disappearing.

I stopped comparing my beginning to someone else’s middle. I started reminding myself that everyone has their strong suit. Even the people who seem intimidating get scared. Even the smartest people get things wrong. Nobody wakes up one day magically confident. They build it.

Here’s my favorite secret: confidence isn’t about thinking you’re better than anyone. It’s about believing you’re allowed to be here too.

So take up space. Ask questions. Answer questions. Stand at the front of the room. Sit with the attendings. Apply for the opportunity even if it feels like a stretch. Let yourself try.

Sometimes confidence is natural. Sometimes it’s borrowed. Sometimes it’s shaky. All versions count.

The more you practice being confident even when you feel intimidated, the less intimidating the world becomes.

You don’t have to wait to feel ready before you step into the room. Walking into the room is how you become ready.

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