All In a Year’s Time

It feels unreal to say this, but it has almost been a full year since I matched into dermatology. I can still picture Match Day so clearly. I was at home with my family. My hands were shaking. I kept thinking about every exam, every audition rotation, every moment I questioned if I was good enough. Then I opened the email and everything changed in a second.

This year has been the fastest and slowest year of my life at the same time.

The version of me who matched last year thought she finally made it. The version of me now knows that matching was not the finish line. It was the starting line. This year has stretched me in ways I did not expect. I have been more tired than I thought possible. I have also been more fulfilled than I knew I could be.

There were days during fourth year when I felt invincible. Then residency started and I realized how much I still have to learn. That realization could have been intimidating. Instead, it has made me hungry. Hungry to ask better questions. Hungry to stay late and read more. Hungry to become the kind of dermatologist my future patients deserve.

I have learned that confidence does not mean knowing everything. It means being willing to say I do not know yet and then doing the work to figure it out. I have learned that being a good doctor is not about having the perfect answer. It is about sitting with someone when they are scared and making them feel seen.

This year also forced me to grow outside of medicine. I have had to protect my peace more intentionally. I have had to choose rest on nights when I wanted to prove something. I have had to remind myself that my worth is not tied to how productive I am.

If you are in the thick of applications right now, I promise you this. The anxiety will pass. The waiting will end. You will look back one day and realize that even the uncertainty was shaping you.

Almost one year later, I am still in awe. Not just because I matched dermatology, but because I did not give up on myself when it would have been easier to shrink. This year has been about becoming. And I am only just getting started.

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