Normal To Be Lonely On My Audition Rotations?

“I feel really lonely on my audition rotations. Is that normal?”

Yes. Completely normal.

Rotating at a new hospital, at a new clinic, in a new city, surrounded by people who already seem to know each other, can feel a lot like being the new kid in middle school—except this time, you’re also trying to impress attendings, learn fast, be helpful, and somehow act like you belong. It’s a strange mix of pressure and isolation that no one really prepares you for.

I did 11 audition rotations. Not 11 months straight, but enough time spent in unfamiliar places, staying in temporary housing (hotels), figuring out new EMRs, and trying to find a friendly face during lunch. I was alone a lot.

Some days were exciting and empowering. Others were quiet and kind of heavy. I filled the silence by walking on the beach (literally), working out, reading, and FaceTiming my mom almost daily. I also binged a lot of TV shows, and I journaled sometimes. I doubted myself often. And I slowly learned how to enjoy my own company again.

Here’s the thing: audition season can be deeply lonely even when things are going “well.” You can be praised, included, and still feel like you’re floating. That doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It just means you’re in a high-stress, temporary phase of life that doesn’t offer much stability or connection.

However, there is also growth in that space. I learned how to find small wins. I noticed when a resident asked for my opinion, when an attending said "good question," or when I just managed to find parking on the first try. Those little wins mattered. When no one else was clapping for me, I learned how to clap for myself.

If you’re feeling lonely on your rotations, I want you to know you're not the only one. Most people just aren’t saying it out loud. It’s okay if this part of the journey doesn’t feel magical. You’re still doing something brave. You’re putting yourself out there. You’re trying.

And if you’re sitting in your Airbnb or hotel reheating leftovers after a long day and wondering if anyone sees you…I do. I’ve been you.

Keep calling your people. Keep showing up. Keep taking care of yourself in the small ways that matter.

This season ends. But you’ll carry what you learned from it for a long time.

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